Be right back...
When emails become blog posts. A note from Mixolo's founder on the future of Mixolo....
Hello Team Mixolo:
If you're reading this, you've survived a pandemic. Namaste.
Writing you regarding the return of Mixolo, with no definitive date, increases my now ever-present anxiety, a likely side effect of the pandemic. Falling back into my old line of work has made me value safety over uncertainty.
Safe choices have kept the lights on for me during a time when so many others lost all opportunities previously available to them. I'm grateful. I've been an entrepreneur for 3/4 of my working life, but failure doesn't get any easier. It still sucks. Nonetheless, it's necessary to move forward.
The planning for the Mixolo relaunch has begun, and your feedback on what you want from Mixolo has been invaluable; however, I am forever changed by the great lockdown of my lifetime. Time now feels illusory in nature. It will take how long it takes. One foot in front of the other is the overarching strategy.
If you've been with us for a while, you'll remember that I used to "comfort blog" each time a natural disaster or mass killing took place. Mixoloists would thank me for my messages. I thought I was making a real difference.
Despite my anxiety, Mixolo's mission to increase IRL human connection, feels more important than ever. There's an abundance of fear and disconnection that has occurred in the past year or so.
Is discomfort the new comfort?
Mass killings are now a daily occurrence. Democracy is being touted as a failed experiment. I am often left speechless and feeling utterly helpless witnessing present attacks on the humanity of historically marginalized people.
Perhaps feeling uneasy about things going on in our country and the world today is a sign of healthy self-actualization. We're reckoning with some major failures, y'all.
Even our memorial day wishes, or personal memories of family members lost, while seemingly heartfelt, have been complicated by the nature of sacrifices made for certain (or uncertain) wars, or the outright disrespect from so-called patriots directed at those whose noble sacrifices enable us to live on in a democracy. Is uncertainty the new certainty? In a capitalistic democracy, some say all we have is our money and our vote, but I believe there's something else. Wherever you fall on the spectrum of privilege, I want you to also protect your energy. Or innergy, as I've coined it. When we are presented with new information or opposing views, even those based in ignorance, we must decide for ourselves what energy we will take or leave - because what we absorb, we will pass on. Perhaps we don't see ourselves as violent in the killing way, but there are many versions of violence that leave lasting scars. There are angry souls that are tapping into our most vulnerable inner child, and when they do, rage and despair can inform our actions. If we're not careful, we become the troll or the bully. When decent people witness violent, bullying energy, we focus on protecting the victims on the receiving end of hate and marginalization. We also forget that perpetrators are also recipients of the same energy. Much of it stems from societal norms and experiences from our homesteads that have been passed down for generations - internalized trauma. Vulnerable people fall prey to harmful rhetoric or ingrained hate that "empowers" them to harm others they have uniwttingly internalized as less than human. History has taught us that other-ism can eventually evolve into acts of genocide. The rise of femicide is not a stretch - it's happening now. Women and children are often sacrificed first, physically and emotionally, in the battles of societies engulfed in rage. If you didn't study rhetoric in school, now's a good time. When misused, it is a manipulation of language that can render important and true things inconsequential, and inconsequential things as fundamental truths. I took it upon myself to limit my intake of falsehoods and study a broader history that is more inclusive of all of our failures, victories, and contributors to our democracy. I had never really participated in AAPI heritage month in a meaningful way before this year. Looking beyond my own suffering and resentment, I felt more connected to my AAPI friends and colleagues than ever before. This past year, we all learned that allyship is required even when you're not being harmed directly. Violence is not random. It takes up residence in our DNA, all versions of it. I love the tribute months. I love any excuse to celebrate. Pride Month feels more essential than ever. It's a perfect time to be reminded of our common humanity. We all want to move about this world safely, without rage from others' misplaced righteousness or fear. Those who believe silence is a protectant against the orchestrated expulsion of trans-people through legislating away their human rights are also unsafe. The contagion of violence spreads much like a virus.
Graphic, courtesy of Sesame Street
When will it end? It's going to take as long as it will take to get better. If you feel well enough to shift your energy to the hope of a future where we all feel safe, you can start today. One foot in front of the other...
About that BRB...
It's a huge feat for our hosts to bounce back from a difficult year, and to be able to host large or gatherings of unrelated guests. Thank goodness our perfect strangers appear to be on the side of science; you've been letting me know you're getting vaccinated when it's within your power.
Perhaps, slowly, you've been expanding your pod, or like me, even bringing the social hug back to the inner circle. Or maybe not.
I believe that most of us are experiencing some degree of anxiety, even the anti-vaxxers, after a year of utter confusion and anxiety coupled with the largest shift in consciousness in American society since the other Civil Rights Era. We have been clinging to a status quo that increasingly harms, while a select few gain.
It's time we accept our progress as well as failures, rectify what we must, and begin to move forward. There is no better way to go on - together. Take care always. We'll be back soon.
Carolyn
Founder, Mixolo